BEWARE: Job seekers aren’t the only ones who sometimes get creative when it comes to selling themselves (i.e. resumes and cover letters that have been, shall we say, “tweaked” to make a person look like the ideal candidate). Some employers have a tendency to use verbiage that makes their open positions sound better than they really are. Over the years, I’ve noticed some popular job descriptors that should be viewed as warning flags a potential employer might be trying to put an overly optimistic spin on a less-than-stellar work situation. Thus, when reading the want-ads, consider the following translations:
Motivated team-player – Looking for someone who needs a job badly enough that they’ll put up with lots of unmotivated, annoying people from whom you’ll have to get buy-in on almost everything you do.
High achiever, driven to succeed – Must be a complete brown-nose whose sole mission in life is to please and impress management.
Customer-focused – Can take a lot of abuse from clients AND management and still act pleasant.
Resourceful, independent self-starter – Since we have absolutely no time or resources to train you, we expect you to figure everything out for yourself… quickly.
Attentive to details – We have strict policies and procedures and won’t hesitate to blame you for everything if you make a mistake.
Flexible, enjoys multi-tasking – We are unorganized and change corporate directions daily, so you’ll need to be able to clean up our messes and do jobs that A) you weren’t told about in the interview, and B) aren’t trained to do properly – all on a moment’s notice.
Agent of change – You’ll be responsible for implementing a bunch of stuff we’ve been unable to make happen with a group of people who are digging in their heels and refusing to convert.
Works well under pressure – Our management team considers everything urgent and is going to micro-manage you daily.
Solution-oriented – We are going to give you lots of messes to clean up and expect you to figure out how to handle them without our direction and with a big smile on your face, even though we aren’t going to give you any resources or support to get it done.
Okay – so if you’ve visited CAREEREALISM before you know I’m being sarcastic. But, let’s not forget, all humor is rooted in a bit of truth, right?
I’m not saying any job posting with one or more of these terms should be crossed of your list of potential employers. I’m just pointing out every job seeker should do their homework to make sure they have a realistic understanding of what a potential employer’s work environment is really like. FACT: There are no perfect jobs or perfect employers.
I know these are desperate times and many people feel compelled to accept any job offer they get. However, in doing so, you could jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. You need to honestly assess an employer by asking questions that will help you see their flaws (tactfully, of course). Remember: employers are like a potential mate. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can change them once you are together. Take off your rose-colored glasses (or, beer goggles, for you younger readers) and choose an employer for who they really are – warts and all.
Finally, I leave you with this last piece of advice…
If you do see any of the terms above coupled with “unlimited income potential,” “rapid advancement,” or “ground-floor opportunity,” then before your apply, I just hope you’ll ask yourself, “Why are they trying so hard to impress me?” Need I say more?
Now, who’s got job posting terms they’d like to decode? Post them below and help all the job seekers reading this post translate employer-speak.
[This article was originally posted on an earlier date.]
J.T. O’Donnell is the founder of CAREEREALISM.com and CEO of CareerHMO.com, a web-based career development company.
Photo credit: Shutterstock
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18 Comments
speaking of attention to detail: how can this article be written in 2011 and have comments from 2 and 3 years ago?
I would guess, from my experience, that this article was written long ago, and updated on Apr. 11, 2011 as today is Apr. 29, 2011
Hi J.T.! It’s so true that even employers embellish a little when writing job descriptions. For anyone applying for jobs now, it’s always crucial that you research the company and the position before you apply. Just because it sounds good in the description doesn’t mean it’s the right fit for you. If you do get an interview, visiting the office can also give you a better idea of what the company culture is like and what you’re getting yourself in to. Just like you want them to like you, they want people to like them and apply to work at their company!
Forget about using Hound.com – you have to give them a credit card number before you can even try their service.
interesting post JT. loved reading it!
Few more descriptions:
-Seek alignment: We dont know who wants what, so before somebody high tries to burn you, you need to inform to align everybody
-Chaser: Others will sleep and we cant help it, but you have to chase all those ones and take responsibility for their action
Or how about flexible schedule? Does that usually mean my schedule can change at the drop of a hat?
Some very funny examples, this really underlines the need as the candidate to be very focused and laser in your questions. My favourite is “What does a person taking this job need to do over the next three to six months in order to be considered successful?” Make sure you are being given measurable expectations and indicators.
The job application process is a two way process so do not be shy in asking the tough questions to establish if you are really applying for the CEO role of the Janitors – both might need to clean up messes! Just my toonies worth.
Some very funny examples, this really underlines the need as the candidate to be very focused and laser in your questions. My favourite is “What does a person taking this job need to do over the next three to six months in order to be considered successful?” Make sure you are being given measurable expectations and indicators.
The job application process is a two way process so do not be shy in asking the tough questions to establish if you are really applying for the CEO role of the Janitors – both might need to clean up messes! Just my toonies worth.
From CMI – thx. Don't forget, “excellent oral & written communication skills,” = completes a sentence without “ya know;” able to write a complete sentence.
Yep, got one – “hit the ground running” – and I've used this phrase hundreds of times as a recruiter. See above, under “independent self starter.”
“Outstanding work ethic” sometimes means they've had employees rob them blind and are going to micro-manage since they'll have a hard time trusting you. :-)
That's hilarious Tressa! I've also found 'outstanding work ethic' to mean that you should be able to figure everything out with next-to-no instruction or help.
Thanks for sharing!
Or maybe “you need to come in even when you’re running a 101 degree temperature but you won’t use your health insurance and make our rates go up.”
Either that or their expecting you to work extra hours to get projects done without getting overtime.
I have heard so many people talking about this that I am sure it comes as no surprise to say that the best way to find jobs in a recession is to investigate jobs on employer websites:
-employers do not use recruiters in recessions because they cost money
-job boards are flooded with applicants
People just do not look for jobs on employer websites. There are thousands of employer websites in most cities and many of the job sit on there for months without applications.
This is where most of the jobs are and I found this far more effective than other means.
I started using a research [url=http://www.hound.com] jobs site [/url] called [url=http://www.hound.com]Hound[/url] that I do not think anyone knows about because it is run by a small company that does not advertise.
All [url=http://www.hound.com] Hound.com [/url] does is show you [url=http://www.hound.com] unadvertised job openings that are not publicly advertised[/url] and are located on employer websites.
Very few people realize that most employers post their job on their own sites and not on job boards like Monster, CareerBuilder, etc. because these sites charge employers up to $500 to post a single job. In my experience (I am getting more interviews that I ever have), your chances of getting interviews and hired are much better when you are applying to jobs that are not advertised that no one knows about.
I have gotten a ton of interviews through the [url=http://www.hound.com]Hound site[/url]. If you are looking for a job I would highly recommend using [url=http://www.hound.com]Hound[/url] . What most people do not realize is that most jobs are found on employer websites and not job boards. [url=http://www.hound.com]Hound[/url] puts all of the jobs it finds from employer websiste (every Fortune 500, Inc. 500 and other company it can locate) on its site.
When you start seeing sites advertise themselves a lot that should be a warning sign of sorts because that means that lots of people will start going and applying to the jobs. I really trust [url=http://www.hound.com]Hound[/url] because it does not advertise.
Good afternoon ,
I just found a good source of jobs I recently found called EmploymentCrossing that I do not think anyone knows about. What is interesting is that EmploymentCrossing consolidates all of the jobs from other job boards and employer websites and puts them all its site.
This includes all jobs from every job board, jobs from association websites and jobs from newspaper help wanted ads.
The site does not really advertise at all so I do not think anyone knows about it. It is a lot different than Indeed, SimplyHired and other sites like that because it just does research of the jobs and shows you what is out there. Other sites are charging employers to post jobs which really limits your options … I got like six interviews from the site in less than a week and was not having luck on major job boards.
I noticed that a few of the jobs I applied to seemed to potentially have been expired because I have not heard back from the employers after over a week. Other than this I like the EmploymentCrossing site a lot. I know other people that have had excellent results with it but many people are afraid to use it due to the cost. When I signed up there was a free trial but I am not sure that is there anymore. If there is a free trial I would definetely check it out because there is nothing to lose.
@Dr. Anderson – Thanks for being the first to post.
Wow – I cannot believe I forgot that one – so true!
There’s got to be at least a dozen more like that, so I really hope people will share…
Great list. If I could add one it would be:
Be Your Own Boss – generally this is a clue that the job is part of a multi-level marketing scheme and you REALLY will be your own boss.
- Dr. Jim Anderson
The Accidental IT Leader Blog