T.A.P. Q#291 – Accept Job Even If I Don’t Like My Boss?

September 15, 2009 by sparktalk

Dear Experts,

I went in for an interview and knew right away I could not see my self working with the person interviewing me. Unfortunately, I quickly determined this person would be my boss if I was offered the job!

My question: Would you accept the position anyway because of the economy? Especially if you are not sure there is going to be another offer in the near future.

Got a career question you’d like answered? Send it to twitter@careerealism.com along with your Twitter account name (you must use Twitter for us to post your question).

Here is how our T.A.P. experts answered this question:

Q#291 I would accept. I’ve had bosses start out OK, then turn into jerks. Maybe your first imp is inaccurate? (@teenarose)

Q#291 If offered job, ask ?s to ferret out working relationship w/boss. In single interview, may b jumping 2 conclusions. (@ValueIntoWords)

Q#291 I would take it. Experience is still better than job hunting. You can always leave after if you need to… (@gradversity)

Q#291 Can C part of ur job as 2 get along w/challenging pple; focus on work not personalities; gr8 oppty 4 U. (@juliaerickson)

Technorati Tags: boss, C-Twips (Career Tips on Twitter!), career advice, career question, ecomony

Filed Under: T.A.P. Questions
Tagged: boss, C-Twips (Career Tips on Twitter!), career advice, career question, ecomony

Comments

juliaerickson

As I said in my tweet, you can see this as an opportunity to learn one of the most challenging skills in work: to get along with people you don't necessarily like, to focus on work instead of personalities, and to adapt to challenging circumstances. Most of us have to work with people we don't love or even like very much.

For me, the goal was to figure out how to work well enough with them to get the job done. One strategy I used was looking for at least one positive thing about the person. Another was to "catch them doing something right" at least once a day. A third was to send them love and positive thoughts. Amazingly, most of these people stopped annoying me within a week.

Sometimes people changed their behavior because nice behavior tends to be responded to with nice behavior. After all, "You catch more flies with honey." And mostly, I got into a new habit of focusing on their positive attributes rather than on how their less enjoyable aspects. I'm also reminded that "where my attention goes, energy flows." That means that if I focus my attention on something, then that's all I see.

If all I remembered was that Nora kept repeating her point and not listening to anyone else until she wears them down, that's all I saw and heard. And it was really annoying! I had to work to remember that Nora was a darn good manager with amazing integrity, and usually her points of view are valuable and correct. That put her annoying tenacity in perspective. It didn't make it go away, it simply minimized it enough that I could continue to work with her.

Would I CHOOSE to work for her? Not if I could help it. In my humble opinion, this is not a "right fit" job for you because your working relationship with you boss is so critical to your job happiness. And if you don't like your boss, my bet is your boss won't really like you. This sounds like it would be a termination waiting to happen.

On that note, my hunch is that your potential boss sensed your dislike or some potential conflict, unless you are an expert at hiding your feelings. Because of that, chances are that you won't be offered the job anyway.

That said, if you need the job and are offered it, it's OK to take it. I'd continue my job search, however, because there's a better than even chance you'll be so unhappy you'll want to leave soon.

Good luck in your search.