Dear Experts,
I have a co-worker who is a complete B!@#$! However, she is always a total sweetheart when other people are present. It’s only when she is completely alone with me that she treats me terribly. She yells at me and calls me incompetent. I don’t know what to do.
I mentioned it once to a co-worker and she told me I was nuts that everyone loved this girl in the office. We do the same job and I’m guessing she is just threatened by me, but because she’s been there longer, I’m guessing even my boss won’t believe me. What can I do to get her to stop? It took me a long time to break into my profession and this job is vital to my career goals, but I’m not sure I can hack much more of my co-worker’s evilness towards me.
Got a career question you’d like answered? Send it to twitter@careerealism.com along with your Twitter account name (you must use Twitter for us to post your question).
Here is how our CAREEREALISM-Approved Experts answered this question on Twitter:
Q#356 Love documenting/taping; calmly say, “There’s no reason 2 speak 2 me like that. Pls spk 2 me w/respect.” (@juliaerickson)
Q#356 1. Have u told *her* to stop? 2. Record all incidents & report it. Popularity isn’t a harassment pass! (@resumeservice)
Q#356 The CAREEREALISM crew has handled bullying at work before (w/great responses): http://bit.ly/3Cmfhu. (@beneubanks)
Q#356 No on bullies w/o UR permission. | Tell her to ensure understanding of project scope U R tape recording ALL convos w/her. (@dawnbugni)
Q#356 You may never play the tapes for anyone, but you stop to the way you’ve allowed her treat you when you’re alone. (@dawnbugni)
 |
Write for this blog! Click here » if you're a credible career coach or business. |
4 Comments
I'd find a way to either have a small recorder handy and record her abusive and unprofessional behavior or get someone you trust to listen in when she thinks she's alone with you then take it to HR and get an attorney just in case it goes further… There has to be some sort of solid proof so that this unacceptable behavior stops. I'd also consider mustering all of your courage and strength and stand up to her. Do it professionally but stand your ground and tell her that you are NOT going to take this sort of abuse any longer and that she'll be reported if it continues. Check with friends, clergy, police to get input about how to best handle this situation so that you remain professional and poised, and not lower yourself to her level. I agree that she sounds threatened so don't take it personally…Remain confident in who you are and stand your ground. Good luck!
I'd find a way to either have a small recorder handy and record her abusive and unprofessional behavior or get someone you trust to listen in when she thinks she's alone with you then take it to HR and get an attorney just in case it goes further… There has to be some sort of solid proof so that this unacceptable behavior stops. I'd also consider mustering all of your courage and strength and stand up to her. Do it professionally but stand your ground and tell her that you are NOT going to take this sort of abuse any longer and that she'll be reported if it continues. Check with friends, clergy, police to get input about how to best handle this situation so that you remain professional and poised, and not lower yourself to her level. I agree that she sounds threatened so don't take it personally…Remain confident in who you are and stand your ground. Good luck!
I'd find a way to either have a small recorder handy and record her abusive and unprofessional behavior or get someone you trust to listen in when she thinks she's alone with you then take it to HR and get an attorney just in case it goes further… There has to be some sort of solid proof so that this unacceptable behavior stops. I'd also consider mustering all of your courage and strength and stand up to her. Do it professionally but stand your ground and tell her that you are NOT going to take this sort of abuse any longer and that she'll be reported if it continues. Check with friends, clergy, police to get input about how to best handle this situation so that you remain professional and poised, and not lower yourself to her level. I agree that she sounds threatened so don't take it personally…Remain confident in who you are and stand your ground. Good luck!
Bullying is not only “top down”. As your experience shows, it can happen between colleagues. Read my post; I think it will help. http://jobsearchingwithrob.blogspot.com/2009/09….