Have you ever been through a rough time at work? I don’t mean the kind of stress that many of us experience with tight deadlines, full plates, and work-life balance nowhere in sight. I'm talking about a rough time with people. A personal struggle that involved one on one difficulties or disagreements that escalate beyond the typical, every day conflict in the workplace.
Related: 4 Tips For Becoming The Co-Worker Everyone Loves
Have you ever had a knock-down, drag-out disagreement with your manager about the quality your performance on a particular project or even a full year of performance? Have you ever received performance feedback that extended into the realm of an attack on your personal character? Have you ever had a colleague or a leader who constantly beat you down with strictly negative feedback that was often caustic and hurtful?
You can certainly influence someone’s behavior in the workplace, but your behavior is the only thing that is totally under your control. Your response to the situation is the only thing you have absolute control over. Every situation and every response will be unique, but here are three things you can consider in order to determine exactly how you need to respond:
Consider the patterns
Consider the source
Consider your options
1. Consider The Patterns
Have you heard feedback in the past that is similar? Be honest – have you ever had an inkling that the message you received might have elements of truth, even if this person delivered it harshly and ineffectively? If there is some truth in the feedback received, you can at least gain from the self awareness that comes with identifying a challenge.
After you have cooled from the encounter, recall the content of the message separated from the tone and the delivery. Make a list of feedback or input that you accept and make changes as desired.
2. Consider The Source
Of course you want to do a good job at work and it is important that your manager believes that you create value in the workplace. There is some truth to the fact that we have to please our leaders in order to remain gainfully employed! An important question, though, is whether or not you will allow this person’s opinion to have an impact on your professional self-concept or confidence in what you know and are able to produce at work. In other words, consider the source of the feedback.
Is the person a respected colleague who simply behaved badly or had a bad day? Do you typically align with the person in terms of what you value and how you define ‘good’? Or, is this person a known “bully”, self-aggrandizing, unrelenting tough guy (or gal) with whom you have very little in common?
3. Consider Your Options
Once you have considered the patterns and considered the source, you have choices to make. And, the good news is, you are in total control of two things now – your outward response and your mental response to the situation. A mature response requires a level of self-awareness on your part. If it makes sense, seek the opinion (or a ‘reality check’) from a trusted advisor who will be honest with you. Test your interpretation of the situation with an outsider to ensure you are not missing something while you are in the heat of the situation.
The answers to the questions about the source may not impact your actual outward response to the situation, but they should certainly have an impact on how you internally process the episode – do you take it to heart? Do you adjust how you feel about yourself professionally? Or, do you recognize that the “problem” is not within your control and simply move on?
You, and only you, determine how you will ‘feel’ about yourself post-encounter. You can allow the emotional encounter, whether based in truth or not, to have a negative impact on your perception of self. You can allow it to escalate your stress level. Or, you can take whatever good ‘content’ there was in the message, but not allow the attack to have an impact on your mental well-being.
Whether or not you confront the person about the actual encounter is a tough call and will vary based on your situation, your relationship, your own style, and the potential value to be gained from follow-up versus moving on. If you do decide to confront the person about the episode, remember, you are still only in control of your response.
(Disclaimer – if your experience ever reaches the realm of harassment or a hostile work environment, it is wise to seek support and expertise from your Human Resources group or a trusted leader in the company.)
This post was originally published at an earlier date.
Is your job search turning into a grind with no end in sight? It may be time to take a step back and reevaluate your entire approach.
In cold weather climates, the beginning of spring is a time to clean the house and get organized—a practice known as spring cleaning. Through the years, spring cleaning has taken on a larger meaning with people using the time to organize and declutter things in their lives.
For professionals on the job hunt, a little spring cleaning (metaphorically speaking) could be a great way to reinvigorate your job search. Here are a few strategies your job search spring cleaning should include.
Reevaluate Your Job Search Approach
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Make a list of the last handful of jobs you applied for and see if you can identify any positive or negative trends. Consider things like:
How did I learn about this job?
How did I apply for the job?
Did I earn an interview?
What was the ultimate result?
A lot can be learned about your job search approach just by answering these questions and identifying patterns. For example:
Negative Trends
You discovered five jobs through job boards, applied to all of them via the job boards, and never heard back from any of them.
The common pattern here is applying through job boards. This isn't to say that job boards don't serve a purpose in the job search process, but they have their limitations, and you can't run your job search entirely off of them. When you apply through a job board, there's a good chance that your materials will never get past the applicant tracking system (ATS) and never be seen by an actual person.
One simple fix is to research who the hiring manager or recruiter is that posted the position and email your materials to them directly.
The more efficient fix would be to take a proactive approach by putting together a bucket list of companies that you want to work for and start making connections on LinkedIn with people who work at those companies. You may already know some people who work there or have connections that can refer you to some individuals.
This is a great way to network your way onto a company's radar.
Positive Trends
You applied to three jobs via referral, were invited to two job interviews, and made it through multiple rounds of interviews for one of the jobs before being passed over for someone with a little more experience.
The pattern here is that getting referred to a job by a professional acquaintance is a great way to land a job interview. This indicates that you're leveraging your network well and you should continue to focus on your networking efforts.
The next step is to review the interview process and determine what went well and what needs to be improved. Sometimes the interviewer will provide feedback, and that feedback can be valuable. However, not everyone is comfortable with giving feedback.
Chances are you probably have a good idea about areas of improvement and the skills you need to gain. Put together a plan for addressing those shortfalls.
The good news in making it deep into any interview process is that it indicates that the company likes you as a potential employee (even if the timing just wasn't right) and the experience could be a roadmap to a job with that company at a later date, or another similar opportunity elsewhere.
Give Your Resume & Cover Letter Some Much-Needed Attention
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Are you continuously sending similar resumes and cover letters to each job opening with only minor adjustments? If so, your strategy needs some serious spring cleaning.
The reason why it's so important to tailor your resume is that throughout your career, you acquire numerous skills, but the job you're applying for may only be focusing on 6-8 of those skills. In that case, those skills must rise to the top of the resume with quantifiable examples of how you successfully used those skills at previous jobs.
Remember, recruiters go through hundreds of resumes. They need to be able to tell from a quick glance whether or not you're a potential candidate for the position.
While updating your resume, you could also spruce up your LinkedIn profile by highlighting the skill sets that you want to be noticed for by recruiters.
As for writing a good cover letter, the key to success is writing a disruptive cover letter. When you write a disruptive cover letter, you're basically telling a story. The story should focus on how you connect with the particular company and job position. The story could also focus on your personal journey, and how you got to where you currently are in your career.
If your resumes and cover letters aren't unique, now is the time to clean things up and get on track.
Build Your Personal Brand
Just because you're looking for work doesn't mean that you don't have anything to offer. Use previous career experiences and passions to build your personal brand.
Ask yourself, "How do I want other professionals to view me?"
Pick an area of expertise and start sharing your knowledge and experience with your professional network by pushing out content on your LinkedIn and social media accounts. Good content can include blogs, social media posts, and videos.
By sharing content about your experiences and passions, you slowly build your personal brand, and others will start to notice. The content could lead to good discussions with others in your network. It could also lead to reconnecting with connections that you haven't spoken to in years, or making new connections.
You never know when one of these connections could turn into a job lead or referral. The trick is to get on people's radars. So, when you're cleaning up your job search, be sure to build a plan for personal branding.
Maintain Healthy Habits During Your Job Search
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Your job search is important, but it's even more important to know when to pull back and focus on personal health and spending time with family and friends.
There are actually things that you can do for your own enjoyment that could help your job search in the long run, such as:
Grab coffee with a friend - It's good to engage in light conversation with friends during challenging times. And if your job search does come up, remember that most people have been through it themselves and you never know when a friend may provide you with a good idea or lead on a job.
Volunteer - Volunteering is a great way to get involved in the community and help others. In addition, if you develop a little bit of a career gap while looking for a job, you can always talk about how you filled that time volunteering, if you're asked about it during a job interview.
Continue to focus on other passions - Are you a fitness nut? Blogger? Crafter? Continue to do the things that bring you happiness. And if you're in a position to profit from your passion through a freelance job or side hustle, even better!
Spring is the perfect time to clean up and improve your job search so you can land the job you want. If you're struggling to find a job, follow the tips above to reinvigorate your job search—and watch your career blossom!
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This article was originally published at an earlier date.